fearlessly | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ it's raining, but alisaie does not mind. she likes the rain. it brings to mind peaceful, private moments, times during her childhood when she would be left alone and unbothered. it reminds her of calm, and tranquility, and safety. it's also an excellent time to read a book, one of her favorite activities. the steady fall of rain beats down on the roof and against the window on which she is leaning back, comfortable on her bed, shoes off and legs tucked up beneath her.

alisaie, unsurprisingly, has been here for a few days already, having arrived early to give herself time to unpack, decompress, and adjust to the space. she'll have a roommate this year, something she is not at all excited about, but it is what it is. given her family's influence, she could have gotten a single room, but that would've made her stand out even more and so instead she has chosen to attend normally, and bring no more attention to herself than necessary. even if it means having to share her space. with any luck, she'll land herself a social, popular roommate who is never in their room unless absolutely necessary, and she won't have to worry too much about feeling cramped.

while the space looks lived in, there's still a few boxes on her desk left to unpack, her suitcase half-full and leaning against the closet, but her books already sit in her shelves, filling every possible space without spilling onto her would-be roommate's side, though fitting them all has certainly been.. a challenge. her desk, too, is piled with notebooks, binders, textbooks, alchemy supplies, mining samples.. look, she's taking a lot of classes?? like, every class. notably, too, her rapier and crystal focus lean against the wall beside her bed, well polished and sharpened, cared for, and a cup of tea sits cooling on her bedside table, atop, you guessed it, more books. it's a theme.

when you are deep into a book, however, time tends to slip away from you, and alisaie has not noticed how much time has passed until suddenly the doorknob is turning. her breath catches in surprise, and she sits up straight in bed - gods, is it already late afternoon?? she didn't leave herself any time to mentally prepare to live with a stranger!! ]

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[ living with prompta has been both incredibly easy and, more recently, desperately difficult.

alisaie has never had a crush on anyone. not really. she's found people beautiful or attractive, sure, mostly girls, but it's one thing to find someone pleasing to look at, and quite another to develop a crush. feelings. she hadn't seen this coming. maybe she should have. prompta is beautiful, with her soft, freckled skin and big blue eyes, she she takes care of herself, that's for certain, but the studium is filled with beautiful girls. prompta is more than that. she's warm, she's kind and friendly and sweet, even when alisaie makes it.. difficult. though they're friends, alisaie is nevertheless a prickly person, especially when she is stressed, and more than once she knows she has taken it out on prompta, when she shouldn't have.

but she sticks around, not out of obligation, but out of genuine kindness and warmth. she's funny, she's goofy, and while she might struggle with some classes, she's much smarter than she thinks she is, she's certainly emotionally intelligent, she has sharp eyes, a good laugh, a wonderful smile..

gods, she's kind of the worst.

at first it was easy to ignore. it would go away in time. it's a crush, a rush of feelings borne of a sudden unexpected friendship - alisaie hasn't been close to anyone in.. well, ever, not anyone beyond her own family at least, so it must be that, right? that friendship crush thing that people say happens.

except it doesn't go away. and rather than a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she has to swat away occasionally, it grows into something bigger, something that slowly but surely is beginning to sink its claws into the tender meat of her heart. alisaie finds herself looking into prompta's eyes for a little too long, or lingering near just to catch the scent of her skin, or going out of her way to make her happy, just to hear her laugh, or see her bright smile. gods, she's got it bad. but what is she going to do? stop being friends with her? ask for another roommate in the middle of the year, when things are going to well?

that would be too obvious, and the only thing worse than prompta not returning her feelings, is prompta knowing about her feelings. so alisaie has no choice but to button her lip and attempt to push it all down. it's so much harder than any courseload.

anyway, alisaie frowns in that teacher sort of way that she does, and taps the end of her pencil to prompta's worksheet. ]

Well, you haven't used it your entire life, of course it seems very foreign to you. Two more questions, pick that pencil up!

[ At least between all her schoolwork, Prompta hasn't had time to fawn over too many boys...not that it takes much for her to form a crush. It wouldn't matter even if she did develop serious feelings for someone. If she could even work up the courage to ask someone out, when would she even have time to date anyone?!

It's a nice excuse, anyway. But at least she isn't waxing poetic too often to Alisaie about cute boys?? But yes, Prompta remains painfully oblivious to Alisaie's feelings, if only because no one would ever like her in that way, and certainly not someone as talented and special as Alisaie. But she is a very attentive tutor, and groaning, Prompta picks her pencil back up, flipping back a few pages in her textbook. ]

Okay, okay...ice and fire are opposites, right? Soooo...ice is...umbral? And fire...astral?

[ It shouldn't be that hard to remember, but memorization isn't her strong suit. ]

[ YEAH alisaie sure does not love all the boy talk!! she's supremely disinterested any time prompta brings it up, rolling her eyes and sighing and making her ideas about romance quite clear - which, to be honest, she would do even if her feelings were entirely platonic. she's not a gushy mushy person by nature, but given her feelings are not platonic, she sure does hate it even more. any time prompta has brought up alisaie's potential boy-crushes, she has been quick to shut it down.

it's not a lie, anyway. prompta has never asked if she had feelings for anyone, just, you know, pointed out boys and asked if alisaie found them cute or not. no lying necessary!! at least, so far. it's nevertheless difficult to listen to. prompta is painfully shy, she hasn't made a single move on any of the twenty boys she's found cute here, but still she can't help but worry that one day that will change. she's ready to have her heart silently, but surely, broken.

for now, at least.. there's only this. ]

Yes, mostly.

[ she taps the chart unfurled between them. ]

Fire and ice are in opposition, yes, and more often than not ice is found in umbral states, and fire in astral, but this is not always so. Astral and umbral are polarities, remember, and technically any element can be in either state. Astral is more active, and umbral, more passive. So while a blazing fire would be astral, a warm breeze might be umbral fire-aspected aether. Still, for all intents and purposes that is correct.

[ neeeerd ]

[ Wow, yeah, what a nerd!! But somehow, it's so much easier to understand when Alisaie explains it rather than trying to drill it into her head by reading it out of a book. Alisaie just has this way with explaining things. She makes sense of them, and Prompta nods, scribbling out an answer on her worksheet. ]

Right, got it! I think. Suuure you don't wanna just answer this last one for me?

[ With a cheesy grin, she leans into Alisaie's side, giving her the puppy dog eyes. She's mostly teasing, but if Alisaie ever did feel an urge to do some homework beyond her own...well, Prompta wouldn't complain.

She's pretty sure aetheric principles aren't going to make or break her potential as a machinist, anyway. ]

[ wow, the puppy dog eyes!! alisaie's face immediately flushes a soft pink, the tips of her ears burning hot. she would never do anyone's homework for them, under any circumstance, but gods, prompta sure does tempt her more than anyone could. her hair smells so nice..

NO. alisaie looks away quickly and clears her throat, tapping the worksheet again, with more gusto. three sharp taps. tap tap tap. ]

You have one more question. I know you can do it.

[ encouragement almost always works with prompta!! ]

[ If Alisaie blushes a lot around Prompta, she certainly hasn't noticed it. It's not as though Prompta herself doesn't blush at every other turn, so she thinks nothing of the color in the other girl's ears, chuckling instead. ]

Alright, alriiiight...one of these days, that's gonna work on you. I'm determined!

[ Her attention returns to her worksheet, brow pulling taut. ]

Okay, soooo...why is too much of one kind of aether a bad thing again?

That's simple, isn't it?

[ she doesn't really want to give prompta the whole answer, that wouldn't help her to learn and retain anything, but with hope she can.. guide her a little bit, can't she? ]

Too much of anything in the world can be bad. Too many sweets will make you sick, too much sleep will give you a headache. Even drinking too much water can kill you.

[ also yeah she sure does blush a lot around prompta, more and more often these days!! her crush is blatantly obvious, too bad prompta is a big idiot. ]

Everything has its opposite, huh? Even if I dunno if there's such a thing as too many pictures...

[ Their dorm room is a testament to that. But when Alisaie explains the concept like that, it's a lot easier to grasp. Leaning over her worksheet once again, Prompta begins to scribble out her answer, chewing on her bottom lip. ]

What d'you think would happen if there was too much of one kind of aether?

[ she hasn't played shadowbringers ok ]

[ even before shadowbringers there were instances of Too Much Aether!! but yeah it wasn't quite so.. gestures ]

Well, it has been known to have adverse affects on the mind and body, the land, everything. Aether is everywhere and in everything.

[ alisaie rests her chin in one hand. ]

Think of it in terms of something else. Fire. A little fire brings warmth, light, a candle or a cookfire. Too much fire has physical effects on the space around it. Burned grass and trees, scorched earth, water boiled away - too much fire will warp what it touches, aether is no different.

[ it will warp what it touches. change it inexorably in its own image. ]

[ As Alisaie elaborates, Prompta scribbles along the worksheet, pausing here and there to form her thoughts into words. When she thinks about it like that, it's a lot less abstract and difficult to grasp. Aether is all around them, after all, it's application should be practical.

If only her professors seemed to realize that...but at least she has a wonderful tutor.

Beaming, she finishes her last sentence before setting down her pencil with gusto. ]

There! Think I've got it. You really have a way of puttin' things that just makes sense, you know that?

[ Said with a little playful nudge to Alisaie's shoulder. ]

[ prompta is done indeed, and with that they are both done, for alisaie had finished at least an hour ago. lifting both arms over her head, she arches her back and stretches high until her spine pops in at least five places, and she exhales a deep, gratified sigh. these wooden library chairs are not the most comfortable, that's for sure. ]

Well.. I'm just glad I am able to help you.

[ she says with a smile that warms her eyes. making prompta happy, even in silly, stupid ways like helping with her homework, makes alisaie very happy as well. she's definitely flushing pink again. ]

Some people aren't really fit to teach, no matter how smart they are.

[ knowing a thing, and knowing how to teach that thing, are two very different skills.. ]

I suppose we should head back now though, before we're given the boot.

[ Stretching her arms above her head, Prompta then begins to gather up her things, piling them into her messenger bag, again completely unaware of Alisaie's blushing. ]

Heh, you don't have to tell me twice! After that assignment, my brain's been ready to sleep for hours...

[ And as she pushes herself to her feet, she offers a hand up to Alisaie, her smiling beaming. Gods, what would she have even done if Alisaie weren't her roommate? Sure, she could study with her other friends, but none of them are quite as academically inclined as Alisaie is, and she just has this certain way of putting things that makes it so much easier for Prompta to understand. She can't express enough how grateful or fortunate she is to have reconnected with Alisaie.

Though she'll certainly still try. ]

One of these days I'm gonna find a way to make this up to you, y'know? For a start, next time we're in the village, you're gettin' a milkshake on me.

[ alisaie certainly doesn't need a hand up to stand from a chair, but she will take it anyway because it would be rude not to, and because prompta's hands are smooth and warm and soft, though she can feel the hints of calluses beginning, where the pistol lies in her grip. even just for the briefest of moments.. it feels nice to touch her. gods, that's weird, isn't it? it's weird. she's hopeless. ]

Well, you certainly don't have to make it up to me at all. Friends help each other, don't they?

[ not that she has too much experience with friends, but.. she's been learning, thanks to prompta and her friends. they begin the walk back, and she smiles. ]

But I would never turn down a milkshake.

Heh, damn right you won't! It'll be my treat. Least I can do for all you're doin' for me.

[ Even if friends help each other, Alisaie is going above and beyond the call of duty here! It floors Prompta that Alisaie isn't swamped with friends, though maybe it's just because she's shy. That's a problem Prompta can relate to...

Prompta offers Alisaie's hand an appreciative squeeze before she lets it go, before slinging her bag over her shoulder. ]

Alright! Back to the dorm room to pass out!

[ she squeezed the hand.. ah. that's a nice feeling, however brief, and her hand still feels warm and tingly even after prompta drops it. alisaie has never been a terribly affectionate person, but prompta certainly makes her question it. prompta makes her question everything. ]

I told you, you don't owe me anything. You would do the same for me, wouldn't you?

[ and more, she'd wager. alisaie has never met anyone more selfless and giving as prompta. she's kind and sweet, she would give the shirt off her back to a complete stranger if she thought it would help then, and best of all, she would be sincere about it. genuine. at first alisaie had thought that maybe some of her niceness had been fake, but.. she's the real thing, the genuine article. its a rare gift.

anyway, they're heading back!! ]

Do you have any plans for the weekend?

[ Sure, sure, Prompta would do the same for her, but that hardly amounts to much. Alisaie has so much more to offer than she does, and more than likely, if she attempted to return the favor in kind, she'd only make the subject matter harder to understand, somehow. But fine, so long as Alisaie will let her treat her to ice cream, then she won't argue.

With the usual skip to her step as they walk, Prompta answers: ]

Me 'n' the gals were thinkin' of headin' into town to play around a bit. Wanna come with?

[ Of course, Prompta has made it abundantly clear in the past that Alisaie is always welcome along with hers and Nocta's shenanigans, but Prompta also knows that going out isn't exactly Alisaie's thing, either. But she'd drag her along every time if it were up to her. ]

Oh, well.. mayhaps.

[ it's the best answer alisaie has ever given, tbh. she's not saying yes, but she's also not saying no, which she generally always does! she likes spending time with prompta, and alisaie's desire to be around her more often is at war with her inner introvert. besides, prompta's friends are.. pretty nice, they've always been welcoming, even if gladia is a shameless flirt.

would that alisaie were as brave as she is.. ]

I'll think about it.

[ tbh even if Alisaie were as shameless a flirt as Gladia it would still probably go over Prompto's head...but anyway. Prompta nudges her playfully in the shoulder. ]

You'd better! Seriously, no pressure, but you're always welcome if you wanna join us, y'know? Five is a way better number than just four.

[ Of course, she would say that no matter how many of them there were, but that's beside the point! ]

[ GOD!! get the hint, prompta!! or don't, because alisaie really doesn't want to deal with rejection when she's got like 10 exams lined up always. ]

You would say that no matter what number you had..

[ but she smiles shyly, her eyes on her feet. ]

But I appreciate it.

Heh, you got me there!

[ But as they turn the corner, Prompta's smile turns to a look of surprise, her face going red, as a pair of boys pass them in the hallway, chatting excitedly with one another. Opening her mouth as if to say something, Prompta halfway raises a hand in greeting, before putting it abruptly down again, turning her face away. Oh gods, why now, why him, she wasn't ready!!!

But the boy and his friend turn down another hallway, leaving Prompta to drop her face into her hands, scrubbing at her cheeks. ]

Gods, why is it every time I see him, I forget how to speak? Maaaaan...he's never gonna notice me at this rate!

[ ah, this night had been going so well..

alisaie's body language shifts slightly, but immediately, her shoulders up and tight, her back straighter, her body tense. this isn't uncommon with prompta, but she hates it every time. her eyes follow the boys as they pass, narrowed and sharp. ]

.. he isn't worth it, anyway. I don't know what you see in him.

[ she says smartly, and frowns. ]

...You don't?

[ Prompta enquires with a slight frown, crossing her arms. ]

He's nice, and has a great laugh...he probably was just too caught up in his conversation to notice me. [ A slight shrug of her shoulders. ] It's no big, I'll just...try again another time.

[ Though there is likely more to it than that. He probably just didn't notice her because she's not really worth noticing. She might not spell it out to Alisaie, but it's certainly on her mind. ]

Plenty of people are nice and have a good laugh. Most people, I would argue. Those are superficial things.

[ it's sure not enough to impress alisaie, that's for sure!! ]

You don't know if he is kind, or smart, or funny, you don't know if he can make you laugh when you are sad, or if he would give you the shirt off of his back.

[ .. or if he's blue eyed and freckled and blonde .. whatever!! alisaie sighs, and hooks both of her arms through one of prompta's own, squeezing. even worse than prompta having a crush on some stupid boy who doesn't even have the brains to notice someone so wonderful, is the idea of prompta feeling sad about it, or feeling less than worthy. ]

Besides, he's obviously a complete moron if he hasn't taken any notice of you.

[ That earns a soft chuckle from Prompta, her cheeks flushing lightly. ]

Aww, c'mon, you're just sayin' that...a-and he could be all those things! Won't ever know until I work up the courage to talk to him...

[ But she is mollified, and with a soft sigh, starts to walk again, leaning into Alisaie's side. ]

Well, if things don't work out with him, there's always the guy in my geomancy class...

[ She's just...like this... ]

[ why is she like this!!!!! alisaie.. sighs, because there's really no fighting this stupid boy thing, but prompta seems to feel a little bit better now, which is really the best that she can hope for. in an ideal world prompta wouldn't care about any foolish boy not paying her any mind, but for now she'll accept this much. she can't abide prompta feeling sad, or down about herself, not when she's such a wonderful person, when she somehow can't see that.. ]

.. yes, well. Perhaps.

[ is the best she can offer, though she squeezes prompta's arm a little more tightly. ]

You don't.. need it though, you know. You don't need a boy, or anyone at all, to tell you you're worth it.