ᴀʟɪsᴀɪᴇ "ғɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ" ʟᴇᴠᴇɪʟʟᴇᴜʀ (
fearlessly) wrote2020-09-29 10:50 pm
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[ it's raining, but alisaie does not mind. she likes the rain. it brings to mind peaceful, private moments, times during her childhood when she would be left alone and unbothered. it reminds her of calm, and tranquility, and safety. it's also an excellent time to read a book, one of her favorite activities. the steady fall of rain beats down on the roof and against the window on which she is leaning back, comfortable on her bed, shoes off and legs tucked up beneath her.
alisaie, unsurprisingly, has been here for a few days already, having arrived early to give herself time to unpack, decompress, and adjust to the space. she'll have a roommate this year, something she is not at all excited about, but it is what it is. given her family's influence, she could have gotten a single room, but that would've made her stand out even more and so instead she has chosen to attend normally, and bring no more attention to herself than necessary. even if it means having to share her space. with any luck, she'll land herself a social, popular roommate who is never in their room unless absolutely necessary, and she won't have to worry too much about feeling cramped.
while the space looks lived in, there's still a few boxes on her desk left to unpack, her suitcase half-full and leaning against the closet, but her books already sit in her shelves, filling every possible space without spilling onto her would-be roommate's side, though fitting them all has certainly been.. a challenge. her desk, too, is piled with notebooks, binders, textbooks, alchemy supplies, mining samples.. look, she's taking a lot of classes?? like, every class. notably, too, her rapier and crystal focus lean against the wall beside her bed, well polished and sharpened, cared for, and a cup of tea sits cooling on her bedside table, atop, you guessed it, more books. it's a theme.
when you are deep into a book, however, time tends to slip away from you, and alisaie has not noticed how much time has passed until suddenly the doorknob is turning. her breath catches in surprise, and she sits up straight in bed - gods, is it already late afternoon?? she didn't leave herself any time to mentally prepare to live with a stranger!! ]

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With any luck, her roommate will turn out to be the worst of her worries. If she can make a good first impression and not make a total fool out of herself, she'll consider it a grand success. It won't be that bad! It's only the person she's going to be sleeping in the same room as for the next year...
Deep breaths. She's got this.
Pushing open the door and pulling her trunk of belonging behind her, Prompta steps into the room, speaking before she even has the chance to think better of it. ]
Uh, h-hey! Sorry, I got held up at, uh, the airship landing, before...
[ But she trails off as she spots Alisaie cross the room on her bed, meeting her gaze, her brows snapping up in surprise. No...no way. It can't be...
Can it? ]
...Alisaie? Is that...you?
[ Gods, it's gonna be super awkward if it's not! ]
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just kidding, good thing for them both she is alisaie, who is looking as if she swallowed a bug. she wasn't ready!! but then the mystery roommate says her name, and alisaie squints - there are few enough people who would recognize her here, so the familiarity is unexpected, but it only takes a few moments for her to hazard a guess.
those freckles, that wild hair, and those big blue eyes, hopeful and trusting and naive - but it's been years.. ]
Poppy?
[ err.. maybe too many years to be using a child's nickname, especially with such familiarity. alisaie flushes, and quickly corrects: ]
Um - Prompta?
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But before her heart can truly fall in her stomach, the other girl responds with a nickname she hasn't heard in a very long time, and rather than look put-off by its use, she looks elated. Her smile is wide and warm, and she already is letting go of her trunk to rush over to Alisaie's side and pull her into her arms. ]
It is you! I can't believe it! How long has it been?!
[ Too long, by any count. ]
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[ that is. a HUG. alisaie immediately flushes pink and stiffens, her hands raised and open as if she does not know what to do with them, because she sure doesn't. when was the last time anyone hugged her?? ]
A.. a long time indeed..
[ she says, through a breathless sound like a thin laugh. ]
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It's been, what...almost fifteen years? Can't believe it...and we're roomies? What're the odds of that? Ha!
[ Oh, she'd been so, so nervous to find out who she's living with, but to find that it's a long lost childhood friend was never an outcome she could have expected. Maybe...the both of them have changed, and Prompta will get on Alisaie's nerves now, but in the moment, she can't help but be anything but elated. ]
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ahem. alisaie smooths her skirts and clears her throat. ]
Indeed..
[ she's shy, but alisaie still manages to muster something of a smile. ]
It is good to see you again.
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[ That's right she's changed! She's not the pudgy little girl with glasses that Alisaie remembers from her childhood. She's grown and thinned out with lean muscle, and yeah, she has boobs now. Sorry, Alisaie, but your new roommate is kind of a babe.
Chuckling sheepishly: ]
Sorry, you were, uh, probably in the middle of something, huh? Guess I got a little carried away. We gotta catch up, but whenever you've got time.
[ Prompta did just straight-up interrupt her there, old friends or not. ]
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So she keeps at it, much as it might exhaust her, much as it might cut into her social life more than she'd like. She's still pretty sure, but her friends are here, too, and Alisaie is her roommate. She would much rather be spending time shooting the shit with them instead of hunched over books until her eyes glaze over every night, but she's surviving. It'll get easier eventually, right? Once she gets more focused on her field of study instead of having to take a bunch of general required courses.
Even if working with machines isn't exactly a work in the park...yeah, she may be a little in over her head.
Which is why she can't turn down the offer to be tutored by Alisaie when she gives it. Prompta doesn't know how she does it. Alisaie has like double or triple the workload, yet still finds time to tutor her, and patiently, too. She's a saint, and while normal Prompta might have tried to refuse so as to not be a burden on her friend, in this case, she can't really afford to pass her up. Gods, she feels terribly guilty about it, because she'll surely never be able to offering Alisaie something in return for her efforts, but she can at least be as model of a tutee as she can.
It's late at night in the library as the two of them sit next to each other, Prompta's nose to a worksheet about aetherial something-or-others, her forehead in her hand, as she sets her pencil down. ]
Maaaan, I gotta say, I have a respect for people who can use aether more than I ever had before...
[ Because boy, is it complicated. ]
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alisaie has never had a crush on anyone. not really. she's found people beautiful or attractive, sure, mostly girls, but it's one thing to find someone pleasing to look at, and quite another to develop a crush. feelings. she hadn't seen this coming. maybe she should have. prompta is beautiful, with her soft, freckled skin and big blue eyes, she she takes care of herself, that's for certain, but the studium is filled with beautiful girls. prompta is more than that. she's warm, she's kind and friendly and sweet, even when alisaie makes it.. difficult. though they're friends, alisaie is nevertheless a prickly person, especially when she is stressed, and more than once she knows she has taken it out on prompta, when she shouldn't have.
but she sticks around, not out of obligation, but out of genuine kindness and warmth. she's funny, she's goofy, and while she might struggle with some classes, she's much smarter than she thinks she is, she's certainly emotionally intelligent, she has sharp eyes, a good laugh, a wonderful smile..
gods, she's kind of the worst.
at first it was easy to ignore. it would go away in time. it's a crush, a rush of feelings borne of a sudden unexpected friendship - alisaie hasn't been close to anyone in.. well, ever, not anyone beyond her own family at least, so it must be that, right? that friendship crush thing that people say happens.
except it doesn't go away. and rather than a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that she has to swat away occasionally, it grows into something bigger, something that slowly but surely is beginning to sink its claws into the tender meat of her heart. alisaie finds herself looking into prompta's eyes for a little too long, or lingering near just to catch the scent of her skin, or going out of her way to make her happy, just to hear her laugh, or see her bright smile. gods, she's got it bad. but what is she going to do? stop being friends with her? ask for another roommate in the middle of the year, when things are going to well?
that would be too obvious, and the only thing worse than prompta not returning her feelings, is prompta knowing about her feelings. so alisaie has no choice but to button her lip and attempt to push it all down. it's so much harder than any courseload.
anyway, alisaie frowns in that teacher sort of way that she does, and taps the end of her pencil to prompta's worksheet. ]
Well, you haven't used it your entire life, of course it seems very foreign to you. Two more questions, pick that pencil up!
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It's a nice excuse, anyway. But at least she isn't waxing poetic too often to Alisaie about cute boys?? But yes, Prompta remains painfully oblivious to Alisaie's feelings, if only because no one would ever like her in that way, and certainly not someone as talented and special as Alisaie. But she is a very attentive tutor, and groaning, Prompta picks her pencil back up, flipping back a few pages in her textbook. ]
Okay, okay...ice and fire are opposites, right? Soooo...ice is...umbral? And fire...astral?
[ It shouldn't be that hard to remember, but memorization isn't her strong suit. ]
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it's not a lie, anyway. prompta has never asked if she had feelings for anyone, just, you know, pointed out boys and asked if alisaie found them cute or not. no lying necessary!! at least, so far. it's nevertheless difficult to listen to. prompta is painfully shy, she hasn't made a single move on any of the twenty boys she's found cute here, but still she can't help but worry that one day that will change. she's ready to have her heart silently, but surely, broken.
for now, at least.. there's only this. ]
Yes, mostly.
[ she taps the chart unfurled between them. ]
Fire and ice are in opposition, yes, and more often than not ice is found in umbral states, and fire in astral, but this is not always so. Astral and umbral are polarities, remember, and technically any element can be in either state. Astral is more active, and umbral, more passive. So while a blazing fire would be astral, a warm breeze might be umbral fire-aspected aether. Still, for all intents and purposes that is correct.
[ neeeerd ]
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Right, got it! I think. Suuure you don't wanna just answer this last one for me?
[ With a cheesy grin, she leans into Alisaie's side, giving her the puppy dog eyes. She's mostly teasing, but if Alisaie ever did feel an urge to do some homework beyond her own...well, Prompta wouldn't complain.
She's pretty sure aetheric principles aren't going to make or break her potential as a machinist, anyway. ]
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NO. alisaie looks away quickly and clears her throat, tapping the worksheet again, with more gusto. three sharp taps. tap tap tap. ]
You have one more question. I know you can do it.
[ encouragement almost always works with prompta!! ]
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And...because she's going out on a date with a cute and awesome guy, that means, of course, she's fretting over ever single detail in the week leading up to it. What will she wear? How should she do her hair? What should she say? What are her best jokes? What questions should she ask him? Does he like how she smells? Is her laugh too annoying? Is her posture too slouchy? And, oh gods, is that a pimple coming in on her chin?
Of course, one of her other concerns is that lacking in any and all dating experience, she has never...kissed someone before. She doesn't want to get ahead of herself and assume that he'll try to kiss her, but on the off chance that things go that well, she won't have any idea what to do! It's not as though she can just as someone how to do it right. It's the sort of thing you just have to learn with experience.
...At least, so she thinks at first. But what if there was a way to get some experience?
An idea plants itself in her head, though at first she dismisses it. No, that's just stupid, and Alisaie would never agree to it. She's got way better things to do than to help Prompta learn how to kiss, and...that's a super weird thing to ask a friend to do for you, even as close as they are. Somehow asking Alisaie seems way less embarrassing than asking Nocta or the others, but even so, she can't commit to it.
But with each passing day, the date only gets closer and closer, and Prompta's nerves only get worse. She nearly drives herself crazy with it, until she snaps. Okay, she'll just have to ask Alisaie about it. At least if she says no, then Prompta can stop hemming and hawing over it. And the worse she'll get is probably some gentle teasing anyway. Nothing to be so stressed over.
So one night after dinner, when Prompta is fresh from the shower with her hair loose around her shoulders, she sinks down onto her bed, kicking her heels against the floor for a moment before venturing at last: ]
Hey, uh...Ali?
[ Oh gods, here she goes. ]
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so this is it, then. she had known this day would come, and yet she could not help but selfishly think that maybe.. maybe it wouldn't. maybe prompta would just be single forever, and then even if they weren't together, alisaie wouldn't have to endure seeing her with someone else. she wouldn't have to feel that terrible jealousy, or the painful insecurity, the assurance that she's not good enough. it makes her feel guilty, and ashamed. prompta deserves to be happy. she deserves to be loved. she deserves to have everything she wants, and more.
but that doesn't make it any less painful to endure, especially since prompta is so.. enthusiastic about it, of course. she talks about it nearly every day, fusses over her hair and clothes and skin, and alisaie has to force herself to smile, to act happy, when truly every mention of it stings and aches. alisaie knows she never had a chance, but well, now it's well and truly over, because anyone lucky enough to score a date with prompta will surely see her for who she is, see how warm and wonderful she is, how funny, how kind, how she is everything anyone could ever ask for in a partner. he'll never let her go.
alisaie certainly wouldn't.
she has to be happy for prompta. she has to force it, and then maybe, eventually, she will truly feel it. until then, the pain is keening, sweetly excruciating, and alisaie finds herself distracted nearly every moment of the day, unable to focus easily on her work, her mind wandering even during conversations. it is wandering now, while she sits on her bed over an open book, reading the same sentence for the fifth time in a row. ]
Hm?
[ she starts, shaken from her reverie. ]
Oh - what is it?
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No. She's going through with this. ]
Have you...um. Sorry, this is kinda out of the blue, but, have you ever...kissed anyone?
[ ASKING FOR A FRIEND ]
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that is.. not at all the question that she was expecting, and as much is evident in the way her face flushes, her eyes wide with surprise. o-oh.. well, even if she wasn't expecting it, after a moment's thought, she should not be so shocked. of course prompta would ask something like this, only days before her date. it makes perfect sense.
and it makes her stomach clench in that icy, jealous way again. ]
U-um.. well no. Not really. There was a dare once, in grade school, but..
[ she gestures vaguely. dared grade school kisses aren't like.. real kisses.. they don't count!! ]
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Oh. Um...gotcha. Y-yeah, me neither.
[ A beat, as her gaze drops to the floor, her knees bouncing. ]
Um...if you could, would you? Want to, I mean?
[ She could definitely be going about this in a better way. ]
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no, she probably doesn't mean that at all. she's going on a date soon, with someone else, she's not asking for a kiss, she's just asking about kisses. it makes perfect sense. prompta has been asking alisaie's opinion on virtually everything, from her hair to her clothes to the way she talks, doing everything in her power to see to it that this date goes perfectly.
maybe alisaie should put green hair dye in prompta's shampoo, maybe then she would be too afraid to go on her stupid date!!!!
but no, nope. she's given the best advice that she can, because seeing prompta happy is.. the most important thing in the world, however painful it might be. this is surely just more advice, though unfortunately, not advice that alisaie is poised to give. she's never really kissed anyone either. her gaze drops to her hands, where they fiddle with her blanket. ]
Well.. sure, I have thought about it. Kissing sounds.. very nice.
[ it sounds warm, and sweet, and prompta's lips are probably so soft, she takes care of her skin so well, it's probably so smooth, and alisaie knows she smells so good..
gods, her face feels hot. she shouldn't be considering this, even for fun. ]
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so far, she's kind of hating it, yes, but it could be worse. it's not her scene at all, and she does not appreciate the noise or the press of people, but prompta is having fun, and so far nothing completely terrible has happened, so.. she's not ready to run out the door, but she's also not super eager to attend a party again.
of course, it was only a matter of time before she's dragged to some sort of kissing game, like this is some stupid movie or something, but alisaie has had a few drinks by now, so she's feeling loose and comfortable enough not to flat-out refuse immediately. but she certainly reserves the right to say no and walk away if she's expected to french some gross boy she has no interest in, especially if he seems like a creep, but prompta had been more than amenable to that.
it started simply enough with spin the bottle, which was fine, she supposes, since spin the bottle kisses tend to be little more than a quick peck, or even sometimes a kiss on the cheek, and while one of the boys who had landed on her had definitely seemed a little overeager, it's been fine. alcohol has given her brazen courage. none of these kisses, however, have been at all interesting or earthshattering, not even one from a cute brunette girl with long curly hair. her bottle never lands on prompta, for which alisaie is both.. grateful and disappointed. she still remembers their kisses, of course she remembers them, she tries and fails not to remember them every day, and she's not entirely sure her heart could take that sort of teasing again.
yet here she is, hoping anyway. alas the kisses never come, and the game begins to wind down.. at least until someone suggests seven minutes in heaven and now, two more stale beers in, alisaie does not refuse. she's no chicken, okay!! their names go into a hat, and it's prompta who reaches in first..
alisaie feels her stomach drop. gods. she hadn't really thought of how she would feel watching prompta go into the closet with someone else. they've both had quite a bit to drink, what if someone tries to hurt her in there? maybe this isn't such a great idea after all.. ]
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Seven minutes in heaven is the next natural step, once they're all a little drunker with even fewer inhibitions, even if the prospect still makes Prompta's heart beat faster and her blood run warmer. This is...okay, right? She's always considered herself a hopeless romantic, the type of person to kiss when she's in love, but then again, it doesn't take much for her to fall for someone. And this is just something that people her age do, right? She can't deny that there's something thrilling about the idea of disappearing into the dark with someone and just letting things unfold. She's feeling bold tonight. So when the party host gathers up names to participate, she gives her own, even if her cheeks burn bright and hot as she does so.
Then all there is to do is wait, and Prompta drops back into her seat next to Alisaie, nursing yet another cup of stale beer. Alisaie had put her name in too, and Prompta isn't so far gone to realize that's not exactly usual for her. Then again, she had agreed to play spin the bottle... ]
Feelin' daring tonight, huh?
[ That makes two of them. The host comes around and Prompta plucks a name out, though she doesn't read it just yet. ]
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but she should wait, first. if prompta seems uneasy, then they'll bail, but maybe she's pulled out the name of one of her many crushes, and she'll be happy to go into that closet and make out and gain a boyfriend. however much the idea makes alisaie's stomach sink, she shouldn't really deny prompta a chance at, you know, making out with someone she wants to make out with..
so she shifts nervously, tugging at her fingers. ]
I suppose so. And you are too, it would seem..
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So far, anyway. ]
Heh, yeah, guess all I needed was a little liquid courage in me...
[ She lifts the little piece of paper in her hand, about to read it, before stopping again. ]
Hey, if you had the pick of anyone in this room to go into that closet with, who would it be?
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she sighs heavily, distressed, though she plays it off quickly by elbowing prompta in the ribs - though not before a very obvious moment of silent panic that she isn't sober enough to hide well. ]
Well, with you of course. I don't even know any of these people!
[ HAHA IT'S JUST A JOKE HAHA
it's sure not a joke!! but alisaie doesn't like to lie, even now.. ]
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Ha, that wouldn't be so bad, now, would it? You were a pretty good kisser...
[ But alas, even if they went in there together they...wouldn't kiss again, right? They could just talk and giggle and give every boy in the room a nosebleed thinking about what they might be up to together in there. But she stands by what she said. Alisaie had been a good kisser. Prompta wouldn't mind getting to kiss someone like that again. ]
Well, let's see where that practice is gonna —
[ But at last Prompta unfolds her little piece of paper, her brows lifting as a soft disbelieving chuckle rolls out of her.
Well, she'll be damned... ]
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