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[ it's raining, but alisaie does not mind. she likes the rain. it brings to mind peaceful, private moments, times during her childhood when she would be left alone and unbothered. it reminds her of calm, and tranquility, and safety. it's also an excellent time to read a book, one of her favorite activities. the steady fall of rain beats down on the roof and against the window on which she is leaning back, comfortable on her bed, shoes off and legs tucked up beneath her.

alisaie, unsurprisingly, has been here for a few days already, having arrived early to give herself time to unpack, decompress, and adjust to the space. she'll have a roommate this year, something she is not at all excited about, but it is what it is. given her family's influence, she could have gotten a single room, but that would've made her stand out even more and so instead she has chosen to attend normally, and bring no more attention to herself than necessary. even if it means having to share her space. with any luck, she'll land herself a social, popular roommate who is never in their room unless absolutely necessary, and she won't have to worry too much about feeling cramped.

while the space looks lived in, there's still a few boxes on her desk left to unpack, her suitcase half-full and leaning against the closet, but her books already sit in her shelves, filling every possible space without spilling onto her would-be roommate's side, though fitting them all has certainly been.. a challenge. her desk, too, is piled with notebooks, binders, textbooks, alchemy supplies, mining samples.. look, she's taking a lot of classes?? like, every class. notably, too, her rapier and crystal focus lean against the wall beside her bed, well polished and sharpened, cared for, and a cup of tea sits cooling on her bedside table, atop, you guessed it, more books. it's a theme.

when you are deep into a book, however, time tends to slip away from you, and alisaie has not noticed how much time has passed until suddenly the doorknob is turning. her breath catches in surprise, and she sits up straight in bed - gods, is it already late afternoon?? she didn't leave herself any time to mentally prepare to live with a stranger!! ]

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N-no, it's okay, I-I can...

[ Gods, what is she so nervous about. It's just Alisaie. One of her closest and oldest friends. But when she crosses the small distance between their beds to sit next to her, Prompta's gut tightens up with nerves, her cheeks flushing.

If she can't handle kissing Alisaie, then she has no hope of kissing her date. She needs to do this. ]

U-um...h-here goes!

[ Her fingertips just brush Alisaie's as her gaze drops to her lips, soft and pink and ready for her own. Still, it takes Prompta a moment to follow her words up with action, taking a deep breath before leaning forward and pressing her lips to Alisaie's, featherlight and timid. ]

[ prompta leans in near, and alisaie's heart leaps right up into her mouth. she has thought of this so many times before, wondered what it might be like, allowed herself to daydream, but she hadn't ever considered that it would really happen. that is is happening this way, for these reasons is almost cruel.

and yet, the moment prompta's lips touch her own it doesn't matter. it's so easy to forget that this kiss isn't really for her, that it's meant for someone else; in the moment it is hers. it feels strange at first, foreign, but after a moment alisaie's breath shivers past her lips and she tips her chin forward just a bit, just enough to press their mouths together a little more fully, her lips parted just so, the smallest amount, only enough to breathe, though she is sure her breath has already been stolen from her lungs. she can smell the sweet, familiar scent of prompta's skin, her freshly washed hair, and thoughtlessly her fingers curl over prompta's between them, weaving together.

it's warm. it's so warm, and so soft, and with her eyes closed alisaie can feel only that warmth, and the texture of prompta's lips, just as smooth and supple as she had expected them to be. kissing is bizarre, and new, it's awkward, and wonderful, and before she knows it she's pressing into it a little more firmly, inhaling prompta's breath, her free hand rising to prompta's face, anxiously yet boldly brushing fingertips along the slope of her jaw. ]

[ It is strange at first, because it isn't exactly what Prompta expected it to be, but it's...nice, too. It's warm and wet and ticklish, as they adjust to breathe in tandem with one another, her nose bumps against Alisaie's as she turns her jaw into Alisaie's touch. Right — kissing isn't just about the lips alone, is it? And this is for the both of them to learn and explore. Alisaie makes it so easy, and so Prompta's free hand rises to cup Alisaie's cheek, her thumb cresting just over her cheekbones.

So...this is what a kiss is like. A push and pull, almost like a dance, and one they are both learning together, step by step. Her skin and face feel flushed and hot, but not in an embarrassing way that makes her want to turn away. Instead, she feels encouraged, coaxed to keep going. Alisaie hasn't pulled away yet, and they have a lot more to learn about kissing than simply pressing their lips against each other's.

With a soft sigh, Prompta's lips part against Alisaie's, warm and inviting, asking to deepen the kiss, to explore more. ]

[ it feels exquisite. alisaie hadn't really expected that kissing would really feel so nice. she had thought it would be awkward and weird, and it is, they are new still, and unsure, but there is still something so enjoyable about it, something that makes her stomach flip and her heart pound. it's awkward, but in a sweet and simple way, and as they welcome it it becomes a little easier, then a little more, and more still.

but when prompta's lips part it draws a soft noise from her throat, and alisaie inhales sharply, without breaking contact. there's a brief moment where she freezes, unsure of where to go next, but she finds her body responding for her - all at once both of her hands are up, taking prompta's face between them, her thumbs gliding over her soft, freckled cheeks as alisaie parts her lips and tilts her head, searching for the right angle until -

- there it is. their mouths slot together perfectly, and alisaie feels warm and giddy and dizzy, she can taste prompta's mouth and it's both odd and exhilarating. warmth blooms under her skin, and alisaie's body leans forward, into her, her ears full of the soft, sweet sounds of their kisses. it is not boldness when alisaie's tongue darts gently, teasing against prompta's bottom lip, it is simple instinct that guides her to search for more. ]

[ Tongue is yet another part of kissing, and Prompta had expected they would go there, since it's kind of important, and yet it's sill surprising when Alisaie's tongue darks against her bottom lip, half-teasing, half-asking a question. A sound of surprise slips up from Prompta's throat, but she doesn't pull back or shy away.

Instead, she answers that question with her answer, slowly but purposefully dragging her tongue from one side of Alisaie's bottom lip to the other, before dipping it into the other girl's mouth.

It does feel strange, the feeling of someone else's tongue and teeth, but it doesn't feel gross or uncomfortable. It's actually pretty nice, in a way she might not have expected, warm and wet in a way that makes her stomach tighten. She has to remind herself that this is Alisaie, her friend, and these are just practice kisses...but that doesn't mean they don't feel nice. That doesn't mean they don't feel right. ]

[ they do feel right, certainly to alisaie, who is so absorbed in the moment that she has all but forgotten why they are here, why they are doing this in the first place. vaguely, she might remember that this is practice, but she is fully here, lost in the taste of prompta's mouth, especially when she feels the dart of her tongue, warm and strange and exciting.

her heart has dropped back down into place, but it is hammering with adrenaline, and her fingertips gently slip into prompta's loose, soft hair, holding close while she follows suit, slipping her tongue past prompta's, along it, to dip into her mouth. the movies and books always make kisses out to be so simple, so perfect, it doesn't prepare her for the complete strangeness of tasting another person's mouth, it doesn't prepare her for the texture, or the heat, or just how wet and slippery it feels.

but that's all for the better, for these surprises are all pleasant ones that keen in her blood, that make her skin feel too tight over her body, a lingering heat in her bones, building.

distantly, she wonders if they should stop, if it's too much, if they're going too far but gods, just.. just a little longer. just a little more. she wants to remember every moment of this, to memorize the shape of prompta's mouth and lips, to remember the heat of her body, the softness of her skin and hair, and all of these sweet, perfect little sound lost between them. ]

[ They should probably stop, but Prompta finds herself...wanting the kiss to keep going herself, though distracted as she is, she can't exactly begin to scrutinize why. Kissing just feels nice, it's exciting and new and intimate, and she's never had a chance to do this with another person before. That she gets to do it with someone so trusted and dear to her is just a bonus.

But soon it all threatens to overwhelm — the way her stomach clenches, the heat just beneath her skin, the part of her that seeks for more. It's all so dizzying, and if she doesn't change course quick...

Gods, what is she even thinking? This is Alisaie.

With her fingers tight in the front of Alisaie's nightgown, Prompta breaks away at last, their mouths parting with such a sinfully slick noise that it makes her cheeks burn and a breathless chuckle escape her. ]

W-we should...

[ They should stop. As nice as it is, this is...as far as they should go. ]

[ prompta is right, however loathe alisaie might be to admit it. she would be happy to continue on like this all night, to kiss prompta's mouth, her skin, her fingertips, to drop her hands down the soft curve of her throat, to touch her, to pull away her shirt, to -

well, that is precisely why they need to stop. however painfully ready alisaie is, there isn't.. anything at all to be ready for, really. prompta has a date soon, gods, with a boy, a stupid, idiot boy who doesn't even know how lucky he is, a boy who is probably nice and kind and clearly has good taste and yet alisaie cannot help but despise him, whether she wants to or not. their mouths part, and alisaie's chin tips forward as if to chase for more, a soft sound of protest in her throat -

but the spell is beginning to break. her hands fall, resting for a moment on prompta's shoulders, and her bleary eyes search prompta's face for the briefest moment, as if asking, why should we stop? before she gathers herself with a sharp, deep inhale. ]

Oh.. yes, I..

[ she starts, before her face is flushing anew, hot and prickling. ]

Was that..? Um.. good enough?

[ they can always practice more!!!! ]

[ Prompta looks flushed, and a little dazed, but not unhappy, and Alisaie's question earns her a soft laugh as Prompta releases her shirt, her hand instead lifted to scrub at the back of her neck as her gaze turns bashfully down.

That was certainly educational, in ways she hadn't expected. ]

U-um, y-yeah, think so...

[ A beat as she chews on her bottom lip, the taste of Alisaie still there, her heart picking up a beat. ]

You...you were really, um... [ Good. She was really good. ] I-I mean, th-thank you. That was exactly what I needed.

[ She doesn't yet realize how true those words are. With as good of a kiss that was, if she kisses her date this weekend, will she think of this one instead...?

But...no, what's gotten into her? She's all sorts of scrambled right now. ]

[ it's over almost as soon as it started, and while alisaie has no regrets, she does not love the cold weight in the pit of her stomach. for a few brief, sweet moments she had flown so high, before the gravity of reality kicked in and brought her crashing back down to land again. it's over, life will go on, and prompta will go on her date, none the wiser for just how.. much this meant to alisaie, how keenly it made her heart soar and sing. ]

.. good.

[ she doesn't regret it. she doesn't. she can still feel the warm, lingering tingle of prompta's lips, she can still catch the smell of prompta's hair caught on her own skin. she'll lie awake at night with the scent in her memory. and maybe, just maybe, the smug satisfaction that she was prompta's first kiss will keep her warm while she's off with her stupid boy.

quickly, alisaie withdraws her hands and folds them in her lap, tugging her fingers worriedly, for lack of anything better to do with them. ]

I hope it helped.

Yeah. I-I think it did.

[ Even if it's difficult to think about exactly what happened just now. Maybe that's it — she didn't overthink it, she just let herself feel and explore, without letting her thoughts trip her up. It had worked, and now...

Well, she's had her first kiss, as unconventional as it might be, and Alisaie helped her get there. Whether or not she uses this experience over the coming weekend remains to be seen, but at least she doesn't have any regrets now. ]

Um...th-thank you.

[ Is it weird to thank someone after practice kisses??? Oh well. ]

[ it's.. a little weird yeah, but this whole experience is honestly a little weird. good. but weird. even if alisaie is feeling more awkward than happy now that the adrenaline and pleasure have burned off. ]

Of course. If you--

[ -- want to practice more, she begins to say, before thinking better of it. that would definitely come off weird, and surely prompta has more than enough experience under her belt now. hoping for more will only hurt, in the long run. after a few short moments spent fidgeting, alisaie reluctantly stands. she should probably.. get back to her own bed now. ]

Well, um.. I hope your date goes well.

[ it feels hollow, to say that out loud, and it's bittersweet and painful, but it's also.. true. that spiteful little corner of her soul hopes the date crashes and burns, but in truth she wants prompta to be.. happy, and if happy means with someone else, then..

well. so be it. ]

[ The date goes...okay. Prompta had been over the moon about it, even if her nerves had made the anticipation rather anxious, and by the time it comes, she's almost just ready to have it over with. But it's an enjoyable time. The boy is kind and funny, maybe he talks too much about himself and laughs a little too much at his own jokes, but they get along well. And at the end of the date, he even mentions seeing her again, though they don't miss. Prompta doesn't leave enough time for it.

It was nice to spend an evening out, and it was nice to have someone pay attention to her in...that way. But he's probably not her dream guy. And that's what dates are for, right? To test the waters. To figure out the answer to that question.

It's late, but not too late when Prompta slips back through the door of their dorm room, quietly tiptoing inside before looking across the room to see if Alisaie is still awake, whispering for good measure: ]

Hey, Ali, you still up?

[ oh she's still up. honestly, even if prompta weren't on a date she would probably still be up, alisaie tends to get to sleep late, but tonight, gods, she wouldn't be able to sleep even if she tried. her stomach is in knots.

she hopes it's going well for prompta, or most of her hopes that, at least, even if a small part of her definitely hopes it's going terribly - but she wants prompta to be happy, to find that thing she is looking for, even if alisaie knows it isn't with a boy. it isn't with anyone. the kind of validation prompta wants can't be found on a date. but still, it can bring her happiness. everyone likes to feel loved, to feel desired, wanted.

but, you know, alisaie also won't be too heartbroken if it isn't the best date in the world, though of course it probably is - how couldn't it be? prompta is the best potential partner anyone could ever want, and surely he will see that, he will see how beautiful she is, how funny, how her smile can brighten up an entire room. anyone would be a fool to let that pass by them. and given how excited prompta was about it, about him.. well. alisaie has been preparing herself all night for her inevitable doom, both eager for prompta to return so that alisaie's torment will finally end, yet also terrified to hear the verdict.

gods, falling for someone who does not feel the same is absolute torture. would not recommend.

anyroad, she's curled in bed with a book, the room quiet and the lights off save for the small reading light by her bed, but alisaie has been on this same page for at least thirty minutes now - this same sentence, probably. she's tried, and failed, not to stare at the clock, but she has no idea when to expect prompta back, anyway.. oh gods, what if she stays out all night?? talk about torture. but alisaie's purgatory ends soon enough, at least, when she door creaks open and her eyes dart up from her page. she's back. alisaie has to make an effort to seem cool and collected. ]

Oh.. yes of course. Welcome back.

[ Woefully unaware of Alisaie's inner struggle, Prompta at least doesn't look like she's glowing — the type of post-date glow she has probably regaled Alisaie about plenty before. She had fully expected to be over the moon after her date, but instead she just feels kind of...underwhelmed. Which she feels a little guilty about, because it was pretty okay for a date, especially in her non-existent experience. But there's just nothing really to glow about.

Instead, Prompta drops onto her bed with a sigh, kicking off her shoes and leaning back on her palms. Didn't even get to put that great kissing practice into action...bummer. ]

Thanks.

[ Alisaie may not have asked how it went, but Prompta is going to tell her anyways. She'd want to know, right? After helping Prompta get ready for it? ]

You know...it was only kind of okay.

[ alisaie should feel.. relieved, and she definitely is, because the last thing she wants to listen tonight is the tales of prompta's wonderful date and how ready she is to marry this perfect boy, but she also can't help but feel a bit guilty for her relief. at least prompta doesn't seem sad or upset, which is good, but seeing her happy would have been best, even if alisaie would have definitely also hated it.

still, her shoulders relax a bit and she straightens against the headboard, resting her hands on the pages of her open book. ]

Oh.. well I'm sorry you didn't have a wonderful time.

[ she says, though she is in fact only half sorry... ]

Are you going to try again?

[ please don't!! ]

[ That's the question, isn't it? And maybe one that Prompta should direct more time towards considering, given her gut reaction is a "no". But she is the type to go with her gut, so is there really anything to be gained by thinking on it further? Is it fair to the guy to write him off already, or better to just leave it without dragging anything out?

Ultimately, she shrugs her shoulders without much enthusiasm, shaking her head. ]

Nah, don't think so. He was nice and all, but once I got to know him a little better...not really my type, you know?

[ Part of her thinks she should be so choosy, that she should be thrilled that anyone is interested in her at all, and she is, but she's too much of a hopeless romantic to settle for something less than being swept off her feet. ]

Oh well. Good to get the experience, though. Feel like I can check a major milestone off now, heh.

[ however glad she might be to hear that she doesn't have to endure another agonizing night of waiting for prompta to return from a date, it still.. stings to see her like this. she doesn't seem devastated, no, but she's certainly disappointed, and alisaie can't help but worry that maybe prompta is taking it personally, thinking she has failed in some way. maybe she isn't, but alisaie still knows her well enough to guess at how her thoughts might be leaning, sometimes. she hopes that they are not leaning that way now..

but just in case, she still rises from her bed to cross to prompta's, dropping down next to her to immediately slide both arms around one of prompta's, while she tips her head to touch her brow gently to prompta's temple. ]

Try not to worry about it, overmuch.

[ she says softly, squeezing prompta's arm. ]

You'll find your person someday, I know you will. You're too good a catch to be ignored.

[ As usual, Alisaie's intuition is right on the money, and she knows exactly where Prompta's thoughts have gone. Her expression goes soft and affectionate, warmed by how stalwartly her friend defends her from herself. Prompta is often her own worst enemy, and try as she might to be better about it and believe the things her friends tell her about herself, it's still...difficult sometimes.

But if Alisaie says she's a good catch, well, she'll try to believe that, too.

Chuckling low in her throat, Prompta closes one hand over one of Alisaie's, nudging her playfully with the other. ]

Aw, c'mon, you gotta say that...

[ A beat. ]

But...thank you. Seriously. Guess I got kinda...boy crazy this week, huh?

[ She did barely talk about anything else... ]

I do not gotta.

[ alisaie sure does leap to defend her against herself, because if not her, who else will? prompta's friends are wonderful friends, but their relationship with her is a little different from alisaie's. they're close, but in a different way. prompta herself surely won't leap to her own defense. alisaie is happy to. when prompta nudges her, she smiles and leans in nearer, resting her cheek against prompta's shoulder. ]

Maybe.. just a little..

[ she says in that gentle yet weary sort of way that suggests "yes, all you did was talk about that dumb boy, it was very tiring." ]

I would ask if you got it out of your system, but.. I know better.

[ As Alisaie leans in, Prompta winds one arm around her shoulder, in a natural and easy way that she doesn't even have to think about. For how much Alisaie claims to not be touchy-feely, that's never been Prompta's experience with her. But then again, she's a pretty touchy-feely person, so maybe she just makes up enough ground between the both of them.

That, or Alisaie is just used to it by now and has given in to Prompta being in her personal bubble. ]

Heh, you know me all too well...I gotta find a rebound after all, right?

[ She says in a teasing manner, even though it's...definitely true....sorry Alisaie. But at least pining for a boy is probably better than actively dating one?! ]

[ I MEAN... ONLY SLIGHTLY!! it's like choosing between a poop smoothie and a fart milkshake!! alisaie would prefer neither thanks!! she sighs heavily, making no secret of her disapproval. ]

No, of course you don't, but I highly doubt that I could talk you out of it.

[ as much as she dislikes prompta's boy-craze for deeply personal reasons, she also does not like to see it for prompta's own good. she hangs so much of her sense of self-worth upon the people around her, which is natural of course, everyone does it to a degree, but prompta is.. different. it's so much more for her. alisaie shifts uncomfortably, frowning against prompta's shoulder. ]

I just hope that you keep what I have said in mind.

[ that she is enough, all on her own. that she does not need anyone's validation. no relationship based entirely on that need for security and self-worth will ever be anything but hollow, if it succeeds at all. ]

I'll...do my best. Really, I will.

[ They both know it's something that Prompta struggles with, it's no secret to either of them, but it's still hard for her to acknowledge, to let down her sunny act and let herself be really vulnerable for a moment. Sometimes she still worries, that she's asking for more than she gives in return, but she also knows what saying as much will get her, too. ]

Really don't know what I'd do without you, Ali. Thanks again.

[ She really can't say it enough.

But then she pulls back a bit, leaning back on her hands on the bed. ]

Well, next best thing to do is sleep my troubles away. Gotta say, I'm beat.

[ ah, the cuddling could only last for so long.. alisaie feels a little chillier once prompta moves away, she had been so warm and smelled to nice!! but she's right, it's quite late, even if it is friday, and alisaie's constant fretting had sure been more exhausting than she might have thought..

so she exhales deeply, then finally stands. ]

Bakery tomorrow?

[ what better way to liven their spirits than with tons of sugar!! ]

[ Don't worry Alisaie, there is bound to be more platonic cuddling to drive you crazy soon...anyway, at that invitation, Prompta positively beams up at Alisaie, nodding fervently. ]

Couldn't've said it better myself! Maybe some ice cream, too...

[ Not that she's all that broken-hearted about it, but, look. She can indulge this one time. As long as she goes for a run in the morning it's fiiiiine. ]

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fearlessly - 2020-12-12 22:37 (UTC) - Expand

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