ᴀʟɪsᴀɪᴇ "ғɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ" ʟᴇᴠᴇɪʟʟᴇᴜʀ (
fearlessly) wrote2020-09-29 10:50 pm
(no subject)



[ it's raining, but alisaie does not mind. she likes the rain. it brings to mind peaceful, private moments, times during her childhood when she would be left alone and unbothered. it reminds her of calm, and tranquility, and safety. it's also an excellent time to read a book, one of her favorite activities. the steady fall of rain beats down on the roof and against the window on which she is leaning back, comfortable on her bed, shoes off and legs tucked up beneath her.
alisaie, unsurprisingly, has been here for a few days already, having arrived early to give herself time to unpack, decompress, and adjust to the space. she'll have a roommate this year, something she is not at all excited about, but it is what it is. given her family's influence, she could have gotten a single room, but that would've made her stand out even more and so instead she has chosen to attend normally, and bring no more attention to herself than necessary. even if it means having to share her space. with any luck, she'll land herself a social, popular roommate who is never in their room unless absolutely necessary, and she won't have to worry too much about feeling cramped.
while the space looks lived in, there's still a few boxes on her desk left to unpack, her suitcase half-full and leaning against the closet, but her books already sit in her shelves, filling every possible space without spilling onto her would-be roommate's side, though fitting them all has certainly been.. a challenge. her desk, too, is piled with notebooks, binders, textbooks, alchemy supplies, mining samples.. look, she's taking a lot of classes?? like, every class. notably, too, her rapier and crystal focus lean against the wall beside her bed, well polished and sharpened, cared for, and a cup of tea sits cooling on her bedside table, atop, you guessed it, more books. it's a theme.
when you are deep into a book, however, time tends to slip away from you, and alisaie has not noticed how much time has passed until suddenly the doorknob is turning. her breath catches in surprise, and she sits up straight in bed - gods, is it already late afternoon?? she didn't leave herself any time to mentally prepare to live with a stranger!! ]

no subject
But soon it all threatens to overwhelm — the way her stomach clenches, the heat just beneath her skin, the part of her that seeks for more. It's all so dizzying, and if she doesn't change course quick...
Gods, what is she even thinking? This is Alisaie.
With her fingers tight in the front of Alisaie's nightgown, Prompta breaks away at last, their mouths parting with such a sinfully slick noise that it makes her cheeks burn and a breathless chuckle escape her. ]
W-we should...
[ They should stop. As nice as it is, this is...as far as they should go. ]
no subject
well, that is precisely why they need to stop. however painfully ready alisaie is, there isn't.. anything at all to be ready for, really. prompta has a date soon, gods, with a boy, a stupid, idiot boy who doesn't even know how lucky he is, a boy who is probably nice and kind and clearly has good taste and yet alisaie cannot help but despise him, whether she wants to or not. their mouths part, and alisaie's chin tips forward as if to chase for more, a soft sound of protest in her throat -
but the spell is beginning to break. her hands fall, resting for a moment on prompta's shoulders, and her bleary eyes search prompta's face for the briefest moment, as if asking, why should we stop? before she gathers herself with a sharp, deep inhale. ]
Oh.. yes, I..
[ she starts, before her face is flushing anew, hot and prickling. ]
Was that..? Um.. good enough?
[ they can always practice more!!!! ]
no subject
That was certainly educational, in ways she hadn't expected. ]
U-um, y-yeah, think so...
[ A beat as she chews on her bottom lip, the taste of Alisaie still there, her heart picking up a beat. ]
You...you were really, um... [ Good. She was really good. ] I-I mean, th-thank you. That was exactly what I needed.
[ She doesn't yet realize how true those words are. With as good of a kiss that was, if she kisses her date this weekend, will she think of this one instead...?
But...no, what's gotten into her? She's all sorts of scrambled right now. ]
no subject
.. good.
[ she doesn't regret it. she doesn't. she can still feel the warm, lingering tingle of prompta's lips, she can still catch the smell of prompta's hair caught on her own skin. she'll lie awake at night with the scent in her memory. and maybe, just maybe, the smug satisfaction that she was prompta's first kiss will keep her warm while she's off with her stupid boy.
quickly, alisaie withdraws her hands and folds them in her lap, tugging her fingers worriedly, for lack of anything better to do with them. ]
I hope it helped.
no subject
[ Even if it's difficult to think about exactly what happened just now. Maybe that's it — she didn't overthink it, she just let herself feel and explore, without letting her thoughts trip her up. It had worked, and now...
Well, she's had her first kiss, as unconventional as it might be, and Alisaie helped her get there. Whether or not she uses this experience over the coming weekend remains to be seen, but at least she doesn't have any regrets now. ]
Um...th-thank you.
[ Is it weird to thank someone after practice kisses??? Oh well. ]
no subject
Of course. If you--
[ -- want to practice more, she begins to say, before thinking better of it. that would definitely come off weird, and surely prompta has more than enough experience under her belt now. hoping for more will only hurt, in the long run. after a few short moments spent fidgeting, alisaie reluctantly stands. she should probably.. get back to her own bed now. ]
Well, um.. I hope your date goes well.
[ it feels hollow, to say that out loud, and it's bittersweet and painful, but it's also.. true. that spiteful little corner of her soul hopes the date crashes and burns, but in truth she wants prompta to be.. happy, and if happy means with someone else, then..
well. so be it. ]
no subject
It was nice to spend an evening out, and it was nice to have someone pay attention to her in...that way. But he's probably not her dream guy. And that's what dates are for, right? To test the waters. To figure out the answer to that question.
It's late, but not too late when Prompta slips back through the door of their dorm room, quietly tiptoing inside before looking across the room to see if Alisaie is still awake, whispering for good measure: ]
Hey, Ali, you still up?
no subject
she hopes it's going well for prompta, or most of her hopes that, at least, even if a small part of her definitely hopes it's going terribly - but she wants prompta to be happy, to find that thing she is looking for, even if alisaie knows it isn't with a boy. it isn't with anyone. the kind of validation prompta wants can't be found on a date. but still, it can bring her happiness. everyone likes to feel loved, to feel desired, wanted.
but, you know, alisaie also won't be too heartbroken if it isn't the best date in the world, though of course it probably is - how couldn't it be? prompta is the best potential partner anyone could ever want, and surely he will see that, he will see how beautiful she is, how funny, how her smile can brighten up an entire room. anyone would be a fool to let that pass by them. and given how excited prompta was about it, about him.. well. alisaie has been preparing herself all night for her inevitable doom, both eager for prompta to return so that alisaie's torment will finally end, yet also terrified to hear the verdict.
gods, falling for someone who does not feel the same is absolute torture. would not recommend.
anyroad, she's curled in bed with a book, the room quiet and the lights off save for the small reading light by her bed, but alisaie has been on this same page for at least thirty minutes now - this same sentence, probably. she's tried, and failed, not to stare at the clock, but she has no idea when to expect prompta back, anyway.. oh gods, what if she stays out all night?? talk about torture. but alisaie's purgatory ends soon enough, at least, when she door creaks open and her eyes dart up from her page. she's back. alisaie has to make an effort to seem cool and collected. ]
Oh.. yes of course. Welcome back.
no subject
Instead, Prompta drops onto her bed with a sigh, kicking off her shoes and leaning back on her palms. Didn't even get to put that great kissing practice into action...bummer. ]
Thanks.
[ Alisaie may not have asked how it went, but Prompta is going to tell her anyways. She'd want to know, right? After helping Prompta get ready for it? ]
You know...it was only kind of okay.
no subject
still, her shoulders relax a bit and she straightens against the headboard, resting her hands on the pages of her open book. ]
Oh.. well I'm sorry you didn't have a wonderful time.
[ she says, though she is in fact only half sorry... ]
Are you going to try again?
[ please don't!! ]
no subject
Ultimately, she shrugs her shoulders without much enthusiasm, shaking her head. ]
Nah, don't think so. He was nice and all, but once I got to know him a little better...not really my type, you know?
[ Part of her thinks she should be so choosy, that she should be thrilled that anyone is interested in her at all, and she is, but she's too much of a hopeless romantic to settle for something less than being swept off her feet. ]
Oh well. Good to get the experience, though. Feel like I can check a major milestone off now, heh.
no subject
but just in case, she still rises from her bed to cross to prompta's, dropping down next to her to immediately slide both arms around one of prompta's, while she tips her head to touch her brow gently to prompta's temple. ]
Try not to worry about it, overmuch.
[ she says softly, squeezing prompta's arm. ]
You'll find your person someday, I know you will. You're too good a catch to be ignored.
no subject
But if Alisaie says she's a good catch, well, she'll try to believe that, too.
Chuckling low in her throat, Prompta closes one hand over one of Alisaie's, nudging her playfully with the other. ]
Aw, c'mon, you gotta say that...
[ A beat. ]
But...thank you. Seriously. Guess I got kinda...boy crazy this week, huh?
[ She did barely talk about anything else... ]
no subject
[ alisaie sure does leap to defend her against herself, because if not her, who else will? prompta's friends are wonderful friends, but their relationship with her is a little different from alisaie's. they're close, but in a different way. prompta herself surely won't leap to her own defense. alisaie is happy to. when prompta nudges her, she smiles and leans in nearer, resting her cheek against prompta's shoulder. ]
Maybe.. just a little..
[ she says in that gentle yet weary sort of way that suggests "yes, all you did was talk about that dumb boy, it was very tiring." ]
I would ask if you got it out of your system, but.. I know better.
no subject
That, or Alisaie is just used to it by now and has given in to Prompta being in her personal bubble. ]
Heh, you know me all too well...I gotta find a rebound after all, right?
[ She says in a teasing manner, even though it's...definitely true....sorry Alisaie. But at least pining for a boy is probably better than actively dating one?! ]
no subject
No, of course you don't, but I highly doubt that I could talk you out of it.
[ as much as she dislikes prompta's boy-craze for deeply personal reasons, she also does not like to see it for prompta's own good. she hangs so much of her sense of self-worth upon the people around her, which is natural of course, everyone does it to a degree, but prompta is.. different. it's so much more for her. alisaie shifts uncomfortably, frowning against prompta's shoulder. ]
I just hope that you keep what I have said in mind.
[ that she is enough, all on her own. that she does not need anyone's validation. no relationship based entirely on that need for security and self-worth will ever be anything but hollow, if it succeeds at all. ]
no subject
[ They both know it's something that Prompta struggles with, it's no secret to either of them, but it's still hard for her to acknowledge, to let down her sunny act and let herself be really vulnerable for a moment. Sometimes she still worries, that she's asking for more than she gives in return, but she also knows what saying as much will get her, too. ]
Really don't know what I'd do without you, Ali. Thanks again.
[ She really can't say it enough.
But then she pulls back a bit, leaning back on her hands on the bed. ]
Well, next best thing to do is sleep my troubles away. Gotta say, I'm beat.
no subject
so she exhales deeply, then finally stands. ]
Bakery tomorrow?
[ what better way to liven their spirits than with tons of sugar!! ]
no subject
Couldn't've said it better myself! Maybe some ice cream, too...
[ Not that she's all that broken-hearted about it, but, look. She can indulge this one time. As long as she goes for a run in the morning it's fiiiiine. ]
no subject
All right, then, ice cream too I suppose. You're so spoiled.
[ chuckling under her breath, alisaie moves back to her own bed, closing the book she had left and tossing it onto her nightstand before she's tugging the covers back up again and turning onto her side. ]
Goodnight, Prompta.